This story starts off so sweetly. It kinda sucks that both the night and the entire "relationship" have an unfortunate ending. This is the first introduction to My Army Boy. For the rest of my life he will only be known as MAB. He will come up more than once as things lasted for quite some time with him. Any person who has been in your life for longer than 24 hours carries a story. Here is where ours began.....
It was a blind date. My first. I would have a couple of firsts that night. We were set up by a mutual friend-ish person. I barely knew her, but she thought I was adorable (can you blame her?), and he was someone that if she were only 15 years younger and unmarried I am sure she would have jumped at the chance to date MAB. Once I laid eyes on him, I knew why. He was tall, built like a football player, and had blue eyes that made me melt. To put it lightly, I was hooked after one look. We had decided to meet for a drink, you know, to make it casual and not to have to commit to dinner or anything that might last too long if it sucked. Although this memory is from years ago it seems like only yesterday. Haven't you ever had that date where you can remember everything? The clothes you had on, the smell of the man, every detail of the conversation. This was that date for me. I know I can be a sap at times, but I'm a chick so cut me some slack....sometimes I still close my eyes and run through this date. It was that good (until I was forced to leave....but I'll get to that moment in a bit). There was a point in the night where MAB got up to go to the bathroom, walked over to my side of the booth, kissed me on the lips softly, just perfectly, and whispered, "I figured we would just get that out of the way right now so it's not awkward later." He then gave me his perfect little boy grin, turned around, and walked to the bathroom. I must have sat there glowing.
A women, who had been at the table next to us, got up and walked over to me and said word for word, "I hate to interrupt, but you and your boyfriend are just two of the cutest people I have ever seen. It's so refreshing to see young people so happy together." I looked at her and smiled my biggest smile and said, "Thank you, but this is our first date. We just met about an hour ago. Do you think he likes me?" The shock in her eyes gave me the answer I needed. The way he held my hand when he got back affirmed what I thought. It was perfect.
After 4 hours (yep, you read that right, we spent 4 hours at the bar), we decided it was time we should go. We walked out to the parking lot and on the curb started kissing. Call it the beers, call it the warm spring night, call it the fact that I hadn't been on a date in a while (another story for another time) but yes, I was making out in a parking lot with someone I just met. Another first. He asked if I wanted to come over for a while. Without hesitation I agreed. Another first. I am now thinking to myself self...you are about to be that girl...you don't know this kid and you are going to follow him to his house...oh, but he smells so good, and it has been ssooooo long...what's it gonna hurt? So I went. (Sorry mom)
Now, I know what you are thinking. TRAMP! But, in my defense, MAB is way hot. Maybe nothing was going to happen (lie), maybe we were just going to watch a movie or play scrabble (lie). Don't judge me; you know you have been there.
Anywho, after a glorious evening (No, I'm not going into the saucy details. What do you think this is, the screenplay for a porn? You dirty little readers!! This is not that kind of site!).....so, after a glorious evening we went to sleep. Yep, I stayed. Say what you want about me, but I was not about to leave. He was fantastic and ok, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to hear from him again, but I was determined to make this night last as long as possible. If I was going to have my first and only one night stand (and be broken hearted from it because y'all I was already smitten) I was going to stay the whole night. Screw the walk of shame home in the morning; I was going to be ashamed of nothing. We were going to wake up in the morning, have fantastic "I don't regret this at all and to prove it lets do it right now" morning sex, then we were going to make pancakes and sit and eat them in bed while we planned our next date. I'm such an optimist.
I woke up sometime around 5am feeling like I was dying. Literally. Something was not right. I sat up and tried to walk to the bathroom thinking maybe I had to poop. I know, I said poop, but everyone does it people, there is even a book about it. You can buy it here. Anyway, I thought maybe that was it, but on my way to the bathroom I realized that I could not stand up straight. Something hurt so badly that I thought my insides were being ripped or stabbed or something equally as brutal. I decided I needed to go. I quietly put my clothes on (shhh, I know, they shouldn't have been off to begin with, but they were. No judging allowed on this site) and I kissed MAB on the lips and whispered that I needed to go home so that I could get ready for work. He mumbled some nonsense back and I gimped my way out of the bedroom like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
I made it as far as the kitchen before I collapsed. I could barely breathe. I only prayed he hadn't heard me fall. Then I felt it. It was rising in my body. I felt it coming so fast that I barely made it to the standing position let alone to the sink. I threw my head into the cold stainless steel and felt my stomach wretch until everything inside me was in the sink.....down the drain. As I was throwing up all that I had in my body I thought to myself this is the punishment you deserve for trying to have some fun. You had the perfect date but you let it carry on too far and now you are being tortured. This is what girls who go home with boys they just meet deserve. Then I heard MAB coming my way. I quickly turned on the faucet, washed my sickness down the drain, splashed my face, and cupped my hands like I was drinking from the sink. When he asked what I was doing I politely replied "I was thirsty and I didn't want to go through the cupboards looking for a glass." I smiled my sweet smile though the pain was still searing through my body and hoped he bought it. He must have because he came over, hugged me, told me I was a dork (sounds funny, but came to be quite endearing over the next few years), and asked if I needed anything else. Knowing that my body could not hold me up much longer I said that I was good and needed to get on my way. I left. I left not knowing if I would ever see him again. This is a feeling with MAB that I became quite used to...
Hours later still vomiting and unable to stand I kept thinking what a torturous punishment I was being dealt for casual sex. After checking myself into the ER, turns out it was much more serious. I came out a couple days later, healed and with a voice mail from MAB. We went to the movies that week.
A couple years later I asked if he knew I puked in his sink. He said he never saw me do it, but would have asked me out again anyway. Moral of the story is...no, I do not reccomend going home with someone you just meet. This was the first and only time I have ever done this. Sometimes you just know that it will be something good. Other times you just need a good lay. Either way, every now and then you can puke in a guys sink and he still might give you a call.
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