There are those people who are part of your life whom even though you love them dearly (and vice versa) they sometimes make it difficult. Case in point, a conversation with my family a short time ago.
Uncle B: So, you're not dating anyone?
Me: Nope, not right now. I actually had a really good date the other night, but, well, ya know, we'll see.
Mama: You have been out with a lot of people in the last couple years, don't you think any of them were marriage material?
(silent eye roll to cousin)
Me: Nope. Just haven't found anyone yet. You know, its not easy.
Uncle B: Well, what about this guy (example A given). I have heard great things about him, what's wrong with him?!?!?!? (I use a lot of punctuation because Uncle B gets very animated!)
Me: He is a wonderful man, just not for me.
Mama: Don't you think that by this time, maybe you just need to lower your standards a little bit? I mean, you girls are in your 30's. Maybe if you were looking for a list of 10 things, you should be happy with getting 4 or 5.
(Me and cousin after years of this treatment are getting better, but we look at each other and have a How I Met Your Mother silent conversation where we tell one another we can take 5 minutes of then, then we are out the door)
Uncle B: Right, maybe you are just asking for too much.
Cousin: Wow, you MUST be right! That is the problem! I should NOT be looking for someone with a job, and a good heart, and maybe some financial stability! How silly of me!!!!!
Me: Agreed, we are just really being too picky! Forget wanting someone who loves me and will stand by my side, someone who will support me and who I'm attracted to. I should just take anyone, because you know, I am in my 30's and almost all of my eggs are gone by now. It's a proven fact that by the time a women turns 30 90% of her eggs are gone!
Mama: Girls, all we are trying to say is that maybe you are setting the bar too high, you just need to not expect so much.
Me: Again, you are so right, because clearly you settled so I should too. (If you knew me, you would know this is TOTALLY an ironic statement because my Daddy is the best man ever).
Cousin: Let's leave now, we have plans later, but before that we need to go find some drug dealers to marry. Maybe if we get lucky they will be pimps too and our lives will be set.
Me: Perfect! Hey fam, see ya later at Grandma's funeral....maybe if you are lucky cousin and I will bring dates with us! It will be grand!
Have you ever had a conversation with you family that left you feeling like wanting to find someone was an impossible task because you were just wanting too much? Who knew that wanting to feel loved was too much to ask for? Because I am me, I'm thinking of hiring an actor to play my bf at the next family gathering. I am going to pay him to be a complete degenerate but I am going to pretend to be totally in love. You know, because after all it's about time I settle.
No comments:
Post a Comment