I'm not married. But I know how it works. You need the garbage taken out and you don't want to do it.....you bargain. Honey, I will give you a nice bj if you will just take out the trash. I've heard this is a fool proof plan. Want the dishes done? Blow job. Shit needs done around the house? Blow job. Men are simple; offer them sexual favors and you can get what you want.
I'm single. I take out my own trash, do my own dishes, and pretend to fix my own shit when it breaks. I can basically do it all. I'm super intimidating, and thanks to my battery operated "boyfriend" a lot of days I can get by all on my own. I might talk to myself at night when I'm lonely and fake conversations with a non-existent lover, but that's besides the point. I'm self sufficient. Until it comes time to fill out a sports bracket. Now, I am a chick that loves sports. Throw me in front of a football game any day and I'm happy. Baseball: I mean come on, its the all American sport! Hockey: Hell yes, they can fight! Soccer: Those guys are dreamy. Basketball: I'm dumb. I don't know why, but I just don't enjoy it as much as the others. I try, and I cheer, and I get into it come playoff season, but all in all it's not my favorite.
Last year at work we had a bracket going and I wanted to enter. I am one of a few females in my workplace so I really wanted to do well since I'm super competitive. The problem was I had NO idea how to figure it out. That shit is confusing! So I solicited help from this guy I was....ummmmm......not dating. I'll call him "The Gambler". We had been not dating for a while, much to my dismay. He was an asshole. I unfortunately figured this out much too late in the game. I know, I know, you're thinking in your head "What, she dated an ass??? Impossible!! She has such great luck!!!" Anyway, I needed some assistance with my bracket and The Gambler not only had a thing for sports betting (can I pick the winners ladies???) but he also happened to be a basketball aficionado. What did I do? I sent this text "Blowjob for bracket help? Stop by tonight, I need help and I'm willing to make it worth your time." Now I know what you might be saying...whore! But I promise you, I'm not. I mean, married peeps do it all the time! I needed something that I thought only a guy could help me with so I was willing to do what I needed to get the help. It was really a win win situation. For a few moments spent on my knees I would get bragging rights at work. Totally worth it.
Lesson learned here: Married people are not the only ones who can solicit sexual favors to get what they want. Men are simple.....with the offer of a bj on the table anything is possible. Know your powers ladies, and use them accordingly. I may not have won the bracket, but the effort put in was well worth it.
P.S. I am kinda bummed it looks like there is no basketball this year, hehe. While The Gambler might be long gone, the idea is still phenominal.
