It's almost Halloween and I'm being haunted.
Have you ever seen "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?" Probably not. Despite having Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaugh-Hey it was not great.....which is weird for me to say because I love cliche chick flicks. I do heart me some Emma Stone and she was great in this, but still, not a great movie. Do I own it anyway? Yes yes I do! Wait, I'm getting off topic. Sorry, adult ADD stepping in. Or maybe it's just that its Friday and I feel like I need an adult beverage.....shit, no, story telling first. Right. Halloween, ghost, scary. Ok, I'm on it now.
So, right, I'm being haunted. Kind of like in the above mentioned flick my ghosts are of my dating past. Men have almost a 6th sense as to when a women might be getting over them and then they swoop back in. It's weird and not fair. Here I am living my charmed little life in suburban Ohio, pretending I am richer than I am, drinking more than I should, and all around just being awesome when the worst ghost imaginable sends me a message and I freeze. After everything how does MAB still affect me?
I'm pretending this is the last time; that I'm done reacting. You have read how our story started (who doesn't love a girl who pukes), you know a little of the history (yummy ice cream), and while there will be more stories of our time together, I am telling you the end right now. I stopped it. I put an end to it. Months after him saying "I'm sorry, I just don't love you" to me on one of the worst days of my life he decided to e-mail me and ask me to call. He kept me on the phone for 4 hours saying he had been thinking about me. He told me to visit. Then when circumstances prevented that, he told me it was probably for the best, that we didn't need to open that can of worms again. Ummmmmmm, YUP, no worms here! (Ewww, I just got an image of anal worms....I don't know why, but gross). So I'm calling this the end. Do I mean it? Who knows? We all know I'm too nice to not answer when someone calls me, but I'm going to try.
Here is what I'm thinking: remember that episode of Friends where they have a seance boyfriend burning kind of thing? Well...I actually hate matches so I'm not doing that haha. But mentally, I'm burning shit in my head. My hair might be redder tomorrow from the flames. Right now I'm rocking out to Adele. Not the sappy "I'll get over you and find someone just like you" Adele tracks but the "There's a fire starting in my heart/Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out of the dark" angry and balsy Adele who wants to kick some Army butt!
Game on bitches! Who ya gonna call.....GHOSTBUSTERS!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The concert was good.....oh wait, I didn't go that's right!
You know when you first meet someone and things seem to be going really well? I love that phase. You would think after all the shit that I have been though that phase would scare me. You would think that I would wait not so patiently with my pink mase and a knife to mame the man who ends that phase with a bang (as they all do so well). But no, I instead enjoy that phase and get sucked in like a little kid to the pedophiles car while getting offered candy. Sad, I know; but I just can't help but hope the candy will be good this time and that it won't leave me shitting in the street (a wonderful metaphor for my heart bleeding). I like visuals. Think Bridesmaids and me in a dress just shitting in the street because I can't take it anymore. Yup, sometimes that is what a crush does to you. Makes you lose control of your bowels.
Anyway, the happy phase. It begins with a lovely first date. In this particular case we were at a party. I'm a balsy chick, so when the boy I had yet to meet asked me to join him at a party for our first date (score 8,232,982,398 for match.com) I accepted. After all, I know how it is to be the only single person at a party, I didn't want my new crush to have to go alone. There was some hand holding, many flirty glances across the room, and a saucy game of beer pong. The night ended with some heavy making out by our cars. All in all, a great first date. Things progressed nicely. We began talking more often, texting throughout the day (almost 100% started by him....I did not want to come on too strong), and we had dinner the next weekend. I let him come up and we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie. I thought things were going very well. After the movie we kissed for a long time before I backed away and we cooled down. He said he should go since it was getting late and then we kissed some more. It was glorious. We agreed he should leave and we ended the night. Look at me, I'm a good girl! Woo Hoo! So, anyway, over the next 2 weeks every morning I received a message that said something along the lines of "Good morning beautiful" or "Hey babe, have a good day." You know, the sweet messages that make your heart melt and make you think this guy is amazing. YUP, those messages.
Things were going great! Making it even better he asked me to go to a concert with him the following Friday. It was a favorite band of his and he wanted me to see them. I said yes, and in return asked him to come with me to meet a couple of my friends out that night. This was big for me. When it comes to dating I am gun shy with introducing my friends to guys. I don't know why, I mean clearly I have gone out with some winners (insert super sarcastic face). This however was different, it went great and I was not too nervous. On the way home he even thanked me for letting him meet people who were so important to me. Really?!??! I was melting. Kind of like the Wicked Witch of the West when she gets water thrown on her....but in a good way. I was total putty in his hands. We got back to my house and you can guess what happened next. I caved. Good girl gone naughty. I'm sorry. I mean, I have needs, and he was cute, and he said nice things about me and was doing everything right. Ugh.
At 6am the next morning I woke up to him putting his jeans on. I rubbed my blurry eyes and asked where he was going. He said he was up and had things to do so thought he would get a start on the day. Yes, this is where there was an awkward silence. Me being adorable and nice I sat up and hugged him. This is not how it was supposed to go people. Where was my good morning sex, my "Hey! Let's go get breakfast together" conversation, and most importantly the smile I was supposed to see when he realized he was waking up with me. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED?!?!?! WTF? This was not what I imagined! I had a quick conversation with myself and said it will be ok, he really just has somewhere to be, don't stress and read too much into this. Don't be all girly, just be cool and calm and give him a kiss goodbye for the day. So I did just that. I love talking to myself, I give such great advice. He kissed me goodbye and said that he would call me later and that we had that concert on Friday so he would see me later in the week. Whew, good job self, he isn't blowing you off! I smiled and waved goodbye.
Nothing that day. Nothing the next day. Nothing the day after that. Mid week he cancelled the concert saying he had too much going on and would not be able to make it. I barely replied, I knew what was happening.
My question here is this: What the f&%k? How is that ok? Do guys really think that this is acceptable behavior? Why bother wasting some one's time and energy. If all you want is a little booty you can find that anywhere. Do not waste my time and say all the right things that make me think you want more from me. I do not understand how the system works. I'm at a loss.
Right now I'm shitting in the street.
Good news is I still love the happy phase.
Anyway, the happy phase. It begins with a lovely first date. In this particular case we were at a party. I'm a balsy chick, so when the boy I had yet to meet asked me to join him at a party for our first date (score 8,232,982,398 for match.com) I accepted. After all, I know how it is to be the only single person at a party, I didn't want my new crush to have to go alone. There was some hand holding, many flirty glances across the room, and a saucy game of beer pong. The night ended with some heavy making out by our cars. All in all, a great first date. Things progressed nicely. We began talking more often, texting throughout the day (almost 100% started by him....I did not want to come on too strong), and we had dinner the next weekend. I let him come up and we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie. I thought things were going very well. After the movie we kissed for a long time before I backed away and we cooled down. He said he should go since it was getting late and then we kissed some more. It was glorious. We agreed he should leave and we ended the night. Look at me, I'm a good girl! Woo Hoo! So, anyway, over the next 2 weeks every morning I received a message that said something along the lines of "Good morning beautiful" or "Hey babe, have a good day." You know, the sweet messages that make your heart melt and make you think this guy is amazing. YUP, those messages.
Things were going great! Making it even better he asked me to go to a concert with him the following Friday. It was a favorite band of his and he wanted me to see them. I said yes, and in return asked him to come with me to meet a couple of my friends out that night. This was big for me. When it comes to dating I am gun shy with introducing my friends to guys. I don't know why, I mean clearly I have gone out with some winners (insert super sarcastic face). This however was different, it went great and I was not too nervous. On the way home he even thanked me for letting him meet people who were so important to me. Really?!??! I was melting. Kind of like the Wicked Witch of the West when she gets water thrown on her....but in a good way. I was total putty in his hands. We got back to my house and you can guess what happened next. I caved. Good girl gone naughty. I'm sorry. I mean, I have needs, and he was cute, and he said nice things about me and was doing everything right. Ugh.
At 6am the next morning I woke up to him putting his jeans on. I rubbed my blurry eyes and asked where he was going. He said he was up and had things to do so thought he would get a start on the day. Yes, this is where there was an awkward silence. Me being adorable and nice I sat up and hugged him. This is not how it was supposed to go people. Where was my good morning sex, my "Hey! Let's go get breakfast together" conversation, and most importantly the smile I was supposed to see when he realized he was waking up with me. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED?!?!?! WTF? This was not what I imagined! I had a quick conversation with myself and said it will be ok, he really just has somewhere to be, don't stress and read too much into this. Don't be all girly, just be cool and calm and give him a kiss goodbye for the day. So I did just that. I love talking to myself, I give such great advice. He kissed me goodbye and said that he would call me later and that we had that concert on Friday so he would see me later in the week. Whew, good job self, he isn't blowing you off! I smiled and waved goodbye.
Nothing that day. Nothing the next day. Nothing the day after that. Mid week he cancelled the concert saying he had too much going on and would not be able to make it. I barely replied, I knew what was happening.
My question here is this: What the f&%k? How is that ok? Do guys really think that this is acceptable behavior? Why bother wasting some one's time and energy. If all you want is a little booty you can find that anywhere. Do not waste my time and say all the right things that make me think you want more from me. I do not understand how the system works. I'm at a loss.
Right now I'm shitting in the street.
Good news is I still love the happy phase.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Back on Track
Ok peeps, so I'm getting back on track with writing. It's a good outlet for me, so along with yoga and masterbation I just need to make the time. A girl has gotta de-stress somehow.
Stay tuned.
Stay tuned.
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